Heute war sehr gut. Es ist vier woche für uns. Wir sollen  nur Deutsch sprechen. Aber mein Distrikt ist nicht so gut über nur Deutsch sprechen. Ich versuche, aber es ist schwer. Ich bekomme zwei Briefen und ein Packette heute. Ich war nicht expecting ein Packett. A schickt es zu mich. Es hat zwei Hemd und viele kandis. Daß macht mir sehr Glüglick. Daß ist alles. Bis Morgen.

I’m going to HELL! I forgot to write yesterday. What’s the world coming to? I also forgot about Dad’s birthday, and A’s and about Mother’s Day next Sunday. I sent Dad a tie and a little note on Friday. Then yesterday I remembered that A’s b-day is tomorrow. I’m going to have to send a zipper tie to A like I did for Dad. If I would have brought a calendar, I would have remembered.

I think today I realized how important music is for me to be able to feel the Spirit. For me it is the quickest and easiest way. It is hard for me to recognize the Spirit during talks and things like that. Not impossible, though. I’m so hard hearted that the Spirit has to be very strong for me to be able to feel it. And I hate that. I wish I would be able to immediately tell when the Spirit is here by what I feel. I can usually tell by others, but not often by what I feel. My patriarchal blessing promised me a sensitivity to the promptings of the Spirit. I’ve prayed for it often. I guess not hard enough. I have faith, though, that I’ll be able to recognize it and follow it when I need to. My problem is that I don’t know what the Spirit does to me to tell me what to do. I recognize when it tells me things are true. I just have a feeling when I hear things I believe. The feeling means to me that what is being said is right. I just think that I should hear a real voice or see angels or something, even though I know that’s no the way it’ll be. I need to pray harder and more often about the way the Spirit will tell me the will of my Father. I often feel that my prayers are one way conversations. I know God hears and answers my prayers, but I want to hear Him. I want to see His perfect face and hear His loving voice reply when I pray. I want those things. But I don’t think it is the will of the Lord. I’ll just have faith.

I can’t wait to return to Heavenly Father and Jesus. I hate not being able to see them when I pray. I want them to hug me and tell me it’s OK, like they used to. I hate being away from them more than I hate being away from my earthly family. I feel like I don’t really know either of them anymore, because I can’t see, or hear them. I like looking at the pictures of Christ because they help me remember what He is like. My soul longs to see them, and I hope one day I can. I have faith that one day I will. It’s hard to believe in those you cannot see, but I do. Just like I know I have a family in Arizona. I know I have a Mother and Father and an Awesome Brother in Heaven. My soul is Heavensick. I long to feel the Spirit as strong as I have only once before. I wish I could always have the Spirit with me that strongly. I wish Heavenly Father and Jesus would visit me so I can know they are there, and not just hope and believe. I want it all now, not on the Lord’s timetable. I’ll just wait patiently for him to come. For I do know that; that he will come. I love you my God and my Savior.

Hopefully this will be the only time that I miss writing a day. Yesterday was just a pretty normal day, so not much to write about. We said good luck to Brother C. He is getting married tomorrow. We sang “God be with you till we meet again,” for the last song. It was cool.

Today of course was awesome, because it was P-Day. I had a good session in the temple. Also cool was I got a two and a half page letter from Mom. Lots of neat stuff going on while I’m gone. Something bad from the letter was that Charity nearly broke her arm.

I got a nice letter written to the family and one to Brian M, and one to Grandma and Grandpa Shepherd. I just need to write one to D and L now. I found out what I need to do to get my suits altered. On Monday I go to an office in the big building and ask them to take me to a tailor place so they can measure out how much to let out the hem. It shouldn’t cost all that much, and I really need them let out. I can’t stand how tight they are. I think I’ll also have them put an extra whatever on the bum, double the seat or whatever it’s called. Bis spater (until later).

My comp likes to sing, he has a funny voice.

Sister D taught us this afternoon, and it was AWESOME. The Sisters had left for some reason, so it was just the Elders and her. She asked us each why we came on a mission. We couldn’t give her a canned answer, either. I think I was able to finally express my feelings well. We all felt the Spirit so strongly, it was awesome. Sister D also was telling us how important it is to have the Spirit. The language doesn’t matter and neither do the skills. The only way the investigator is going to believe, is if they can feel the Spirit. She told us about a missionary who had all the discussions down pat, the skills perfect as well as the language. he was smooth. His companion couldn’t speak well at all. When the smooth missionary asked the ‘gator to be baptized he said yes, but not because the missionary was smooth, but because he could feel the love of the companion for him. The missionary’s words had nothing to do with it. The ‘gator said if a church teaches to love people like that he wants to be part of it. So the skill and words have nothing to do with it, it’s all the SPIRIT.

So then when we, Elder R and I, taught the 2nd discussion to Elder S, we did well, because we had the SPIRIT. I figured out that you ask questions, let them find the answers instead of me just reading out of the booklet. It was a totally awesome experience. I hope all of our discussions go that well.

The time is flying by. It’s been three weeks already. Only five more to go. I still have a whole TUN of stuff to learn.